Episode 70: How To Ask For What You Need Without Apology

June 12, 2019

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Episode Overview

Often women are socialized to present as if they need nothing from the world. While the spirit of independence is inspiring, the reality is that as humans we do need things and that isn’t about weakness, it’s about humanity. In today’s episode, Jen and Annie talk to clinical social worker Mel Bosna to explore human needs and why they matter.

What you’ll hear in this episode

  • How to begin identifying our needs and how to meet them in a healthy way
  • Societal messages around women’s needs
  • Why it’s not really noble to ignore your own needs
  • Anti-dependency culture and what it means
  • Uncommunicated needs and expectations
  • Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
  • When we put unmet needs onto our body and our food
  • Food, exercise and belonging
  • Finding validation from within versus outsourcing that
  • Getting needs met within a family system
  • Motherhood and how we de-prioritize our basic needs ahead of the wants of others
  • Getting comfortable with the discomfort of vocalizing our own needs
  • The discomfort of trying to be someone you’re not
  • Getting curious about the kind of women we elevate and why
  • The initial disruption that comes from laying down boundaries
  • The habituation process as family acclimatize to everyone having needs
  • Setting boundaries or choosing resentment
  • How resilient relationships adjust to change
  • Two dominant narratives around needs
  • Coming to the realization that your happiness is worth the discomfort of others with meeting your needs
  • Self-soothing after the discomfort of advocating for your needs
  • Learning to advocate for your needs
  • Learning to need without self-judgment
  • Scheduling in time for family, self and relationship
  • Shifting mindset from scarcity to abundance
  • Role-modelling self care and examining the messaging we perpetuate when we don’t advocate for our needs



Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here.