Episode 29: A Therapist’s Advice on Asking For What You Need

August 7, 2018

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Episode Overview

Vienna Pharaon of Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy joins Jen and Annie to talk about a common challenge encountered within the Balance365 and Healthy Habits Happy Moms community, learning how to bring needs forward and open the lines of communication in our relationships. Asking for and receiving support are valuable skills for self-care and Vienna helps navigate the difficult but rewarding conversations to help get you there.

What you’ll hear on this episode

  • Cultivating the self-worth required to ask for what you need
  • Examining our family systems and how their patterns contribute to our beliefs about our needs being  able to be met
  • Tapping into the stories we tell ourselves about our own self-worth
  • The difference between being injured and hurt
  • Couples therapy and why people wait until it’s too late
  • The stories we tell ourselves about therapy and why they don’t serve us
  • Reframing conflict and rethinking how we feel about it
  • How the family systems we were raised in impact how we feel about conflict
  • Redefining healing
  • When unmet need accumulate
  • The extent to which we rely on our programming and why we need to take responsibility for what our programming is
  • When most programming happens
  • Balancing independence and creating a role for your partner in your relationship
  • The pendulum swing of independence and dependence
  • The exhaustion of trying to do everything ourselves
  • Fear of being needy and how it gets in the way of self-advocacy
  • Connection vs. Attachment – what’s the difference?
  • The role of connection
  • Listening vs fixing – communicating from the masculine and the feminine as a spectrum in all of us
  • Fear of rejection and how it gets in the way of communicating needs
  • Creating a two-way street for both partners to have needs
  • Unpacking our resistance to hearing our partner’s needs
  • A community for men like ours
  • An exciting, intimate couples retreat in paradise  



Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here.


10/10 Recommend to family, friends, & clients 

Sound advice, presented in an easy to understand, approachable way. As a woman, mom, wife, daughter, friend, and Registered Dietitian - I recommend this podcast to everyone including my clients. I'm a huge fan of Balance365.  Keep it up ladies! Your friend, @dietitianchels :)


Outlook shifted 

Since listening to this podcast (and being part of the Facebook group(s) of B365), my whole outlook on myself, my body, my wellness, my worth has changed for the better. I thank these ladies for showing me another way to be in this world. I no longer obsess over my weight or food. I very much look forward to each podcast released!


My Morning Coffee Date 

Especially in 2020, having a little positivity is so important. Every time I listen to this podcast, not only do I have a smile on my face, I discover something about myself. And I consider myself to have a whole hell of a lot of self-awareness to begin with! It's almost cliche to say this now but it truly feels like you're having coffee with girlfriends!